we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize