what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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