I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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