i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
