I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
