Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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