I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Rumble strips road head = magical
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
