i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
