he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
