Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
