I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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