now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
