Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
