So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
