but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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