But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
