I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
