So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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