It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
