We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
