Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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