You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
