grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i now understand why vodka
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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