You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Someone shit on the floor
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
