my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize