how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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