every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
