scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
