I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
