He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
