THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
