Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
