I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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