so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
