So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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