butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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