you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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