He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
