I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
