he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
