He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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