dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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