Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
