You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my poor anus
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
