I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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