Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
