dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
