careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
