U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
