If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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