in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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