this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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