some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
