Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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