honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
