I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
