You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
