Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize