Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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