Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
