never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
