she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
